Funny Signs Seen in the USA

Found on the Internet, September 19, 2000
Posted here April 28, 2022

  1. In a Los Angeles dance hall: “Good clean dancing every night but Sunday.”
  2. In a Florida maternity ward: “No children allowed.”
  3. At a number of military bases: “Restricted to unauthorized personnel.”
  4. On a shopping mall marquee: “Archery Tournament — Ears pierced”
  5. In the window of an Oregon store: “Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?”
  6. In a Maine restaurant: “Open 7 days a week and weekends.”
  7. In a Pennsylvania cemetery: “Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.”
  8. On a Tennessee highway: “When this sign is under water, this road is impassable.”
  9. In the offices of a loan company: “Ask about our plans for owning your home.”
  10. At a Santa Fe gas station: “We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.”
  11. In a New York restaurant: “Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager.”
  12. A parking sign in front of a Boston meditation center: “Visualize Being Towed.”
  13. On a display of “I love you only” Valentine cards: “Now available in multi-packs.”
  14. In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: “Don’t kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.”
  15. In a Tacoma, Washington men’s clothing store: “15 men’s wool suits, $10. They won’t last an hour!”
  16. On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners: “38 years on the same spot.”